When I arrived at home last night my room was hot as hell. It is only a might bit chilly outside, so there was honestly no reason for my radiator to be on full blast. Even during the winter it was never on all fucking night which made this morning's sauna a bit of a surprise.
I sleep like a dead person and if it is insanely hot, it is even worse -- wake me up when it is Fall. I awoke to my arm dangling off the bed and my hand in a puddle of water... what the fuck?! I don't sweat that much.
It was even hotter in the room when I got up to turn on the lights. My night-stand was drenched and the ceiling was dripping water. Great! Wondering if my radiator was dripping on my downstairs neighbors as well, I attempted to turn the fucker off. I stopped the drip but it was still as hot as balls in there.
I checked in on my roommate to make sure his floor was not a duck pond as well, but apparently he can completely shut off his heat. How nice for him...
As the ceiling drip began to speed up and exceed the glass that I had left to catch something that looked like apple juice, the next part of the event took me upstairs. It’s 3:30 in the morning mind you, I expected to be greeted with a bit of “why the fuck are you at my door?" Fortunately, each apartment has two doors so I expedited a solution to the debacle by knocking on the bedroom door of my neighbor that likes to stomp around in heels while being a bit... heavyset.
Of course it took a few minutes for her to not open the door but respond to my alert that her floor might be saturated. This was promptly followed by some mutterings of ”oh shit,“ mandatory stomping, and no fucking thank you and sorry for being an oblivious cow-woman. Whatever.
The dripping has stopped, but since it is still hotter than Satan’s scrotum in here, I figured why not pass on my wonderful adventure to the masses of the Internets. Hope you enjoyed and I will be spontaneously combusting in a few minutes.
*WHOOSH!*
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